WHO AM I TO JUST DONT GIVE A DAMN AT YOU?

Here I am again thinking of you… I'm reminiscing about the two of us… The joy it brings when we're together but without hands clasped tight. No, we never did that.

I looked into your eyes and you looked into mine. I try to tell you something. Something that I should not say and something that I must not express. But it is also something you love to hear from me. And in that silent moment, we both see through the thought that is meant by those stares. That's how we got along.

Most of the time, you say you're tired with the hassles the day has brought you. You can't escape them. It is part of your daily life. But they have all gone when I caress you. Every time I impressed you with a shit, it makes me smile. I'm the only person who ever impressed you that way. And I'm happy for that knowing that you appreciate my being.

Aside from those, I also smile whenever I remember the idea of you feeling safe when with me. The way you slow down, wait and try to walk with me whenever you noticed that you are too ahead of me while walking on the street or me whenever I'm too ahead of you. Either way makes you feel safe for no reason at all, just because we are together.

We also have some fights but not huge. It should not be.

And in those fights, I thought of letting you go. I said to myself that letting go of you would prove how much I care for you. But the other side of me is saying that, "why let you go? Nothing was lost for nothing becomes mine." I think that is so true. You were never mine at all. I could hardly stand the pain that there would never be you and me. And for that matter, I would rather make friends with you again than losing you at all.

Now, it is all over. I'm happy this way. I hope you are too. There is no regret for my side. There is nothing to regret for.

Just always remember that whoever may be the most important person in my life, in any given time, you are just as important as that person to me.

Before, I used to tell you that perhaps we could never be friends again. You are correct that it is just me who believes and tries not to make us friends anymore. But then we have proven that my thinking was wrong. It was wrong because now we are back again on our amicable conversations and childish games. And if God permits that, who am I to just don't give a damn at you?

But now, here we go again. Doing things that I'd thought we would never do again. I do not know why!

 

Perhaps, it is because they are things that need to be explained for they are better left explained. There are also things that need no explanation for they are better left unexplicated. That is just because life has mysteries that we have to go through. That is why not everything that we seek can be found, and not everything that we ask for can be given.

And if those unexplicated stuffs that happened to us are of those that need no explanations, then I won't ask for any reason, who am I to just give a damn at those?